Feeling Stuck? How to Get Back Into Alignment with What You Desire
Lately I’ve noticed feeling more down, frustrated, hopeless, and irritable on a day-to-day basis. I assumed it was burnout rearing its ugly head again but when I sat down to take stock of everything, I realized just how misaligned I am in most, if not all, areas of my life. I thought I’d own my own home by now; my car keeps breaking down; my friendships aren’t as deep, meaningful, or supportive as I’d like them to be; the mediumship aspect of my business hasn’t taken off like I’d hoped even though it’s the area I enjoy the most; I’d like to relocate to a warmer climate but don’t have the financial means; and my body isn’t feeling or functioning at its optimum. These are all areas where I’ve: A) directed a lot of mental energy and B) made a concerted effort to improve the situation but so far, they just…aren’t. It was a bit of a relief to see these things listed out on paper. No wonder I’ve been feeling STUCK.
It’s easy to drop out of alignment with what we really want. We get busy with our lives and forget about the big picture. Our daily habits slowly lead us away from our values and desires. We do what we have to do to survive. We settle when things don’t go our way fast enough. We fear disappointment so we stop dreaming about what we really want. In a culture where we’re bombarded with messages about what we “should” want and how quickly we “should” get there, it’s hard to know what we actually want!
So how do we get back into alignment?
First, resist the urge to focus all your attention on what is wrong. In other words, stop believing that what is happening right now is what will always be. “I can’t do anything about this!”, “My pain is awful and it’s never going to go away”, “Can you believe what _____ did to me?”, “I’m never going to get where I want to be”. When you focus solely on what is going wrong, you get more of what is wrong. Try to accept where you are (which doesn’t mean you agree with it!) and remind yourself that this is just one point in where you are going. Our best moments often carry more meaning because we have struggled while getting to them.
Stop comparing yourself to others. In the age of social media this can be tricky, but here’s the truth: no matter what you see on an instagram reel, everyone has challenges and insecurities. Remember to trust in the timing of your life. Every time you wish things were different or easier, you disconnect from your journey and your own inner wisdom and you miss moments of genuine happiness with what is right in front of you. When you make decisions about your life based on someone else, you silence your own intuition and cloud the connection to your true desires.
Tune into and get clear on what you do want. “I like to have friends that are emotionally supportive”, “My body feels best when I go for a run and take a hot shower”, “I am happiest when I spend time in sunny climates”, “I do my best work with _____ types of clients”. It’s important to remember that we all experience ups and downs and painful times but the suffering we feel about it is optional. Think about choosing hope over fear, which can help you focus on solutions rather than what is wrong.
Visualize or write in detail about your most desired state. Take some time to focus on the details of what you truly want.
Recognize that what we all ultimately want is the good feeling associated with our desires and spend some time being in that good feeling state. Remember that good things tend to come when we are feeling the most confident, happy, and carefree. When we feel scared or insecure, negative experiences tend to follow.
Overall, Being aligned and authentic is inspiring to others, empowering them to show up authentically as well. This in turn creates deeper, more meaningful connections and richer life experiences. The next time you’re feeling bad about circumstances in your life, try to bring all the “best” stuff to the table—hope that things can and will improve even if they aren’t where you want them to be now, confidence in the timing of your life, and trust in your own inner guidance system to ultimately lead you towARDS what you desire.